Comical Conversations

Quantum of Solace

2008-11-25T08:44:00.001+03:00

As money supply dried up and men run dry with thin purses, women are forced to marry men for LOVE.

So if you have lost heart at the market, there is no stopping for you. You may now start losing heart to a woman who will love you and not your money (where is the money any way?). Ironically though there is no money, it will be for a change (!)

Bull Market Vs Bear Market

2008-06-05T22:41:00.003+03:00

We were talking about the rate of inflation, rising prices and the impending oil price increase in India.

Friend: Prices are increasing like mad. Inflation is worrying and all prices are rising.

Me: But, inflation is not affecting everything.

Friend: (Surprised) Not affecting everything? How?

Me: Look at your portfolio, and look at what happened to the price of shares that you bought last month, last week, yesterday, today! Without exception aren't they lower?

Friend: Yah! Its a bear market (for stocks). Just thinking what they were talking around December 2007 and early Jan 2008. All were expecting the market to go up. There were buy calls everywhere.

Me: Yah! In a bull market every one is a bull and you get lots of bull shit. And in a bear market, you have to bear all those shit that you got from the bull market!

Children

2008-06-03T08:42:00.002+03:00

My Quotes:

"Children do not come to the world because of accidents, they are products of co-operative incidents"

"Children are proof that a conducive working environment can produce excellent and enduring results"

Full of Os?

2008-02-04T06:46:00.000+03:00

In the recent (how long we can call it recent? till another 20 days, so it is one month from the crash?) stock market crash it seems it was traders worst affected were those with positions in the Futures & Options segment of the market.

When the stock prices crashed and with that the futures & options prices also crashed, there was margin calls all around and people almost everything they held and that was listed on the stock exchanges. The losses were so much that some even listed (!) their personal belongings to sell.

My friend and I were talking about this.

Friend: You know the market crash affected the traders with speculative positions in the futures and options segment most.

Me: Yes. People were into Futures as if there were no other Options! And so FnO became FnWoe. (Full of Woes)

Casino Royale

2008-01-31T20:21:00.001+03:00

My friend and I were discussing about the James Bond movie and then we started discussing about Casinos. We were discussing how casinos operate in USA and how the big slot machines have been now replaced by computer terminals. Then this happened...

Friend: I wonder why there are no casinos in the sub-continent (India)!

Me: I have heard that there are casinos in Nepal. In India we have NSE and BSE! Terminal based and hi-tech; you can operate the terminal and participate in games of the operators.

When money talks

2008-01-30T19:35:00.000+03:00

"The thing that pisses us off is that it shows how much power India has," the anonymous contracted player told the paper. "The Aussie guys aren't going to make it [the accusation] up. The players are frustrated because this shows how much influence India has, because of the wealth they generate. Money talks."

My take:

Yes. When money talks, monkey talks are ok!

Further, hasn't Symonds gone on record that "if a friend calls him Monkey!", I think Bhajji treated him a more priviliged mate and so called him primate, in short form!

In spirits?

2008-01-26T19:22:00.000+03:00

We were discussing stocks that have gone to new lows and if that was right time to buy.

Me: IFCI which had seen a high of Rs.105+ is now Rs.43, I think it is a good buy at this level.

Friend: Can't say. You may see it at Rs.33 tomorrow (he says this on 22.01.08)

Me: Either you are too much of a bear now or you had too much of beer last night

Sensex wild moves

2008-01-26T13:57:00.000+03:00

The Indian stock markets in the recent times have become very volatile. 500 or 1000 points up or down on the barometer BSE Sensex has become the norm of the day. So here goes our conversation on the Sensex movement.

Friend: Did you see the Sensex. Some days back it climbed up new peaks and was around 21K. Then the wild swings on the global stock melt down. It just swings 1000 odd points in a single day.

Me: Yes. When the Sensex was at 5000 or 6000 levels such movements were not there. Now such swings have become the norm of the day.

Me: I begin to think now it is no more "sens"ex - it is more "ex-sense".

Me: And its moves have made us feel we have kum (less) sense. Investors have (probably) learnt their lessons and that is the essence. We should curtail our "Yes" sense to the tipster "nuisance" then there can be excellence in our investments.

Tendulkar

2008-01-26T13:50:00.000+03:00

Tendulkar had just scored his 39th test hundred.

My Friend: Fantastic 100 by Tendulkar. Scoring 39 hundreds is a great achievement.

Yes: May be now we have to press F2 and rename him as "100dulkar"

Market Bulls

2008-01-26T13:29:00.000+03:00

My friend and I could not stop discussing about the market crash. (It did leave a dent in our pockets too, ok?).

My friend: Markets never looked that they will go down so rapidly.

Me: Yes. It looked a "secular" bull market. People of all castes and religion came there to make profit.

Friend: Jokes apart, where did the bulls go?

Me: See we were in a bull market and everyone was a bull. When the bears came, the bulls were shit scared. So all the bulls went, leaving the shit behind for us. If you look at the portfolios now, there is only shit left.

Idhar pada thaa

2008-01-26T13:19:00.000+03:00

My colleague came to my cabin. There was a greeting card kept there which he picked up and read and then commented on the nice quote found in that card. He just started the conversation praising the quote "mind is like a parachute, it works when it is open". He remarked that the saying was very true. Since, I had not noticed that he read the quote from the card, I asked him where he read it.

He answered "Idhar pada thaa and I read it" (it was lying there and I read it).

I said "Haan, idhar pada thaa" (yes you read it here")

Market Crash

2008-01-26T13:15:00.000+03:00

Markets around the globe crashed last week. Shares in Indian markets tipped as multibaggers crashed phenomenally. As is usual me and my friend were discussing this.

Friend: Did you notice the low prices of many stocks. Those that were quoting at Rs.80 and Rs.100 and tipped to go up to Rs.500 and Rs.1000 have crashed!

Me: Yah. They have crashed and wiped out millions of investors (?)

Me: Many of these multibaggers have made many multibeggers

All want to be friends with Symonds

2008-01-13T21:33:00.001+03:00

Friend: Did you hear the latest story on Harbajan / Symonds tiff?

Me: What?

Friend: Symonds says he doesn't really worry about racial slurs. That is, if it comes from friends. If he knows you, then its ok to call him a Monkey, it appears.

Me: Is it? He is right. Without knowing a person, you can't start calling that person by his first name. Can you?

Me: I think now there will be big queues of Indians (we are used to queing up, aren't we?) outside Symonds' house to become friends with him. After all, no Indian will want to miss the opportunity to know Symonds' by his first name.

Work and matter

2008-01-11T11:52:00.000+03:00

Me and friend were talking about work.

Friend: Don't disturb me with instant messages. Not all are lucky like you to get big salary and chat at work.

Me: But I work when it matters. You work or don't work it doesn't matter. Putting it in another way, I think there is probably no matter in your work.

Never call him Monkey

2008-01-08T21:34:00.000+03:00

Me: Do you know why Symonds was offended when he was called Monkey?

Friend: Why?

Me: See, monkeys are supposed to have brains!

Hanumath Jayanthi

2008-01-08T21:32:00.000+03:00

Friend: Today is Symonds birthday! (8/1/2008)

Me: Really?

Friend: Yes, today is Haunmath Jayanthi!

Me: Oh. Then tomorrow also Hanumath Jayanthi! (9/1/2008)

Friend: How?

Me: Tomorrow is my birthday. Call me Monkey!

Monkey or Monky?

2008-01-08T21:22:00.000+03:00

Friend: Do you think Bajji (Harbajan Singh) would have been would have called Symonds as Monkey, especially with racist connotations?

Me: I don't think so. I think Bajji would have been amazed by the concentration of Symonds and would have called him Monk-y! It was a tribute paid to Symonds. But, they misinterpreted it as Monkey!

My email has won

2008-01-06T11:04:00.000+03:00

Friend: I got an email from Microsoft.

Me: What is in it?

Friend: They said I have won 15 million.

Me: Yah! sure. In your life time you will get 15 million sure, of such spams.

Virender Sehwag

2008-01-06T11:00:00.000+03:00

Me and friend chatting after India lost the match at Sydney today.

Friend: I think Jaffer will be out for the next match

Me: Yes. He got out this match also, two times.

Friend: No, I said he will not be selected for the next match. He will be dropped.

Me: Yes. Sehwag will storm in to the team, in his place. And...
will storm out, in the first over of the next test match.

Accountant talk

2007-12-29T12:53:00.000+03:00

My friend who is also an accountant was chatting with me. Since I live alone, he asked me if I cook.

The conversation went like this.

Friend: Do you cook or eat out?

Me: I cook, both at office & at home

Friend: You have cooking facilities at the office also?

Me: No. In the office, I cook the book; at home, I cook from the book!